Last visit was: It is currently Fri Mar 29, 2024 12:39 am


All times are UTC-05:00




Post new topic Reply to topic  [20 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject:Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:38 pm 
 

Joined:Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:41 am
Posts:344
Location:Ninjaville
Well I speaker came to her Catholic school and my girlfriend took a second virginity chastity vow :( I toyed around with the idea of pressuring her to break it, it wouldn't be hard, but thats just not me, and neither is leaving her for something like that, yayyyyy commitment!


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:32 pm 
Organ Donor
User avatar
 

Joined:Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:47 pm
Posts:529
Location:Jawjuh
Well it's not likely to last anyway, unless maybe all her friends did it and they agreed to support each other with it etc.
School motivational speakers rarely actually change people's lives in the long run.

_________________
Creative people must be stopped! (Latest Entry 7/31/11: "Fishsticks (18+))

Pleasantville by Night, a humorous horror web RPG


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:03 pm 
 

Joined:Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:41 am
Posts:344
Location:Ninjaville
No it's going to last, shes very catholic and the things we did took a very long time for them to do, but meh what is life if not a series of obstacles.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:30 pm 
User avatar
 

Joined:Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:51 am
Posts:1186
Website:http://griffinhart.livejournal.com/
Yahoo Messenger:Squall591
AOL:FinalWarrior591
Location:Look at my horse, my horse is amazing!
Good for her, I guess?

/me doesn't get the big deal over virginity

-- Griffinhart

_________________
"My word is my honor. My honor is my life."
-- Demonchild, Angelkin, the Blackest Seraph, the Final Warrior

Image


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:55 pm 
Organ Donor
User avatar
 

Joined:Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:47 pm
Posts:529
Location:Jawjuh
Quote:
/me doesn't get the big deal over virginity
Especially since you've already lost it the first time. Too late, sister. :sleazy:

_________________
Creative people must be stopped! (Latest Entry 7/31/11: "Fishsticks (18+))

Pleasantville by Night, a humorous horror web RPG


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sat Jan 17, 2009 5:42 pm 
User avatar
 

Joined:Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:53 am
Posts:34
Yahoo Messenger:rookie10276
AOL:rookie10276
None of you get what this "second virginity" thing is... do you? The purpose of all of this silly 'virginity' stuff is to maintain purity. The reason for the purity is that you don't have as much emotional baggage from physical commitments and thus have a better chance of a healthier marriage relationship. That's not to say that there's any marriage plans going on between Gwanky and his girlfriend; but if either of them decide do marry someone later on, their marriages will be stronger.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:42 pm 
 

Joined:Mon May 29, 2006 6:11 pm
Posts:266
Quote:
None of you get what this "second virginity" thing is... do you? The purpose of all of this silly 'virginity' stuff is to maintain purity. The reason for the purity is that you don't have as much emotional baggage from physical commitments and thus have a better chance of a healthier marriage relationship. That's not to say that there's any marriage plans going on between Gwanky and his girlfriend; but if either of them decide do marry someone later on, their marriages will be stronger.
Um, personally, i'd beg to differ. It's more like hardcore religious people pushing their beliefs on others.

Gwanky, if you're in school or college, just ditch her. Chances are you won't know her by the time you get into the 'real world', so have fun while you can.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:59 pm 
User avatar
 

Joined:Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:51 am
Posts:1186
Website:http://griffinhart.livejournal.com/
Yahoo Messenger:Squall591
AOL:FinalWarrior591
Location:Look at my horse, my horse is amazing!
Quote:
None of you get what this "second virginity" thing is... do you? The purpose of all of this silly 'virginity' stuff is to maintain purity. The reason for the purity is that you don't have as much emotional baggage from physical commitments and thus have a better chance of a healthier marriage relationship. That's not to say that there's any marriage plans going on between Gwanky and his girlfriend; but if either of them decide do marry someone later on, their marriages will be stronger.
I find that purity of the body != purity of the mind. I know plenty of virgins - and I know just how fucked up they are in the head (or how impure their minds are, in some cases).

And, in my experience, physical commitments never have as much emotional baggage as emotional commitments. You don't miss her because she was a great lay - you miss her because of the words, thoughts, moments, memories you shared with her.

@Switch: What, ditch a girl because she's chosen to abstain from sex? Damn, and I thought I was shallow. Or is it because she's a Catholic? Y'know, religious discrimination, regardless of who it's for or against, is still discrimination.

-- Griffinhart

_________________
"My word is my honor. My honor is my life."
-- Demonchild, Angelkin, the Blackest Seraph, the Final Warrior

Image


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sat Jan 17, 2009 10:16 pm 
 

Joined:Mon May 29, 2006 6:11 pm
Posts:266
Quote:
I find that purity of the body != purity of the mind. I know plenty of virgins - and I know just how fucked up they are in the head (or how impure their minds are, in some cases).

And, in my experience, physical commitments never have as much emotional baggage as emotional commitments. You don't miss her because she was a great lay - you miss her because of the words, thoughts, moments, memories you shared with her.

@Switch: What, ditch a girl because she's chosen to abstain from sex? Damn, and I thought I was shallow. Or is it because she's a Catholic? Y'know, religious discrimination, regardless of who it's for or against, is still discrimination.

-- Griffinhart
I wouldn't ditch her because of her religious ideals, i'd ditch her because if you want sex from the relationship and it's not there, forget it and move on. I have friends who are all LOL I IZ GNA MARRY DIZ GURL and I know full well in 5 years they won't know her.

And also, I have no problem with religion unless people are forcing it on me or others. Did this girl have a chastity vow PRE this talk? No? So presumably it was this talk that convinced her. She didn't say to herself before "Hmmm, this is what I believe, therefore I shall do it", she had to have someone come along and say "This is what you should believe"


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:25 am 
Literally Nine
User avatar
 

Joined:Sat Apr 02, 2005 3:31 pm
Posts:1171
Location:The vicinity of an area adjacent to a location.
Quote:
And also, I have no problem with religion unless people are forcing it on me or others. Did this girl have a chastity vow PRE this talk? No? So presumably it was this talk that convinced her. She didn't say to herself before "Hmmm, this is what I believe, therefore I shall do it", she had to have someone come along and say "This is what you should believe"
I find it's quite rare that anyone makes up their own mind about something without some sort of stimulus. If someone says "I think believing <whatever> is retarded", and I've never thought twice about believing it, then I tend to rethink things. It's not someone saying "YOU SHOULD BELIEVE THIS" and then I agree (in fact, I personally respond quite negatively to such an assertion, as I expect most people would), but rather someone exhibiting a contradiction to my beliefs when I never thought twice about believing it.

_________________
- Tycho

Image


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:52 am 
 

Joined:Mon May 29, 2006 6:11 pm
Posts:266
Quote:
Quote:
And also, I have no problem with religion unless people are forcing it on me or others. Did this girl have a chastity vow PRE this talk? No? So presumably it was this talk that convinced her. She didn't say to herself before "Hmmm, this is what I believe, therefore I shall do it", she had to have someone come along and say "This is what you should believe"
I find it's quite rare that anyone makes up their own mind about something without some sort of stimulus. If someone says "I think believing <whatever> is retarded", and I've never thought twice about believing it, then I tend to rethink things. It's not someone saying "YOU SHOULD BELIEVE THIS" and then I agree (in fact, I personally respond quite negatively to such an assertion, as I expect most people would), but rather someone exhibiting a contradiction to my beliefs when I never thought twice about believing it.
Yeah I realised the way I worded my post came across this way. On a basic level, you have to play Onlink before you make your mind up about it.

I guess i'm basing it partially on what I know about Religious 'Motivational' speakers and also because it appears that this girl didn't listen to this speaker and spend any time considering whether or not to adhere to the principles put forth (I know that's a very wild stab, but i'd bet money it's on target), it was most likely an immediate unquestioning compliance.

Given the nature of the original post, I would say that no time was spent deciding, otherwise most likely that would have been the initial post (my girlfriend is considering) or that would have been a detail (my girlfriend decided). Plus the way it's worded about being a vow, tells me that this was probably taken in front of the speaker.

Now if this is what she wants then that's fine, but I would cut off my left nut if any reasonable explanation could be provided beyond rewording what she was 'informed' of during the lecture.

And before the obvious happens and I get called out for being prejudice, I will admit now that yes, I am prejudice towards the motives of so-called 'Motivational Speakers'. Not just religious, but of most persuasions. I tend to find they're less 'Motivational' and more 'Brainwashing of kids too damn naive to know better'. RE: Religion, Drugs, Sex, Smoking, Alcohol, School, all of which have pretty much the same driving force behind them; If you don't believe in God, you're screwed, if you do drugs you're screwed, if you smoke, you're screwed, if you don't do school, you're screwed.
Quote:
None of you get what this "second virginity" thing is... do you? The purpose of all of this silly 'virginity' stuff is to maintain purity. The reason for the purity is that you don't have as much emotional baggage from physical commitments and thus have a better chance of a healthier marriage relationship. That's not to say that there's any marriage plans going on between Gwanky and his girlfriend; but if either of them decide do marry someone later on, their marriages will be stronger.
Either you are incredibly naive, or just made the funniest joke i've heard this week.

But seriously at the OP, you say you considering coaxing her into breaking her vow; this tells me you want sex. Unless you're like 25+ and have been seeing this girl for years (which is unlikely seeing as she is in school, therefore i'd estimate you are <= 18), go find someone else or just go have fun. If she seriously sticks with this thing then you're probably going to get tired of it QUICK. If you are <= 18 or so, don't tell me you have plans for future with her and stuff, because 99.9 times of of 100 at that age it aint gonna happen.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:38 pm 
 

Joined:Mon Nov 03, 2008 10:55 am
Posts:52
virginity is people's chat full of prejudice and insecure adolescent.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Mon Jan 19, 2009 1:26 am 
User avatar
 

Joined:Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:53 am
Posts:34
Yahoo Messenger:rookie10276
AOL:rookie10276
@Finalwarrior: I meant to imply the mind as well, and would agree about the mental/emotional impact you mentioned in your post.
Quote:
Either you are incredibly naive, or just made the funniest joke i've heard this week.
I have nothing positive to say to this, because it would end up as some sad sort of bash-fest on why philosophical and/or religious view X is lesser than philosophical and/or religious view Y. And I say this because of what I said in my first statement; which pertains to personal views on how life is lived, how you think it should be lived and whether there is right and wrong… among many other fundamental ideals that comprise a person's psyche. Arguing further on why what makes beliefs one way or another will merely decay into an disagreement of "my ideas are clearly right, yours are clearly invalid" and vice-versa. Though, just for fun, I might take a stab that this girl's views would align closer to…that of Catholic views (basically christian views): "commitments to prevent not being an emotional mess, full of baggage" as opposed to your platform of: it's all about "have fun you can" which seem to disregard any consequences to either party. P.S. Don't bother telling me that this girl was manipulated into that vow… Like Tycho said, most people with previous beliefs will not change them even when coaxed, because it goes against their previously set ideals.

So... to the real topic. Given the nature and direction of this conversation, I will try to sum up what I think would be best for Gwanky. @Gwanky: I would assume you want to have sex with her but she obviously opposes it. There are several courses of action; one would be to end the relationship (though you mentioned you don't want to). Another would be to put the physical part on hold and figure out what your limits are and what her's are, to make a mutual agreement on what is best for both of you (which might include some compromises on both sides). Most importantly, I don't think it would be right nor fair to her, to try and manipulate her out of a commitment she made. Now please don't think I'm some sort of preacher telling you what to do... You have every right to your own decision, I am merely giving my thoughts on the issue at hand.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Mon Jan 19, 2009 2:20 am 
 

Joined:Mon May 29, 2006 6:11 pm
Posts:266
Quote:
post
I guess naive was the wrong word and I should have elaborated. The idea of purity, I can see where you're coming from. "None of you get what this "second virginity" thing is" is the line that makes me change from "Yes valid post" to "uh, what?". Surely someone who has already uh, 'dirtied' themselves, is already impure, and therefore a kinda stupid idea. For example, that's like peeing in your water supply, then fencing it off and saying well if nothing can get in, it's now fine.

And yes, I guess I was having a bit of a stab at the Catholic idea. The one side of my family is Catholic and I went to a Christian school, and the idea of virginity = purity was never the issue, it was always "If you have sex God will hate you and Satan will burn you for all eternity" That said, if it genuinely was about being less messed up before marriage, fair enough, although there's so many other factors involved that mess people up that it probably has no real involvement.

"commitments to prevent not being an emotional mess, full of baggage" as opposed to your platform of: it's all about "have fun you can" which seem to disregard any consequences to either party". Well what I suggested about going out and having fun is based on my impressions of this guys character from his post. Firstly that he is <= 18 and secondly that he's in that adolescent phase of "I love her and we're going to be together for ages". Now if this guy is also Catholic, then that pretty much makes all of this invalid, as there is a good chance they will be together for a long while, but assuming he's not and he stays with this girl I can see him regretting it. At the age I assume they both are, they're just not going to have the real maturity and world experience to maintain a serious relationship, particularly if one or the other decides on college (College is 18+ in USA?). All the guys I know who at 16 were all "We will be in love forever) and went to Uni a couple years later (Uni is 18+ in the UK),came back after a year, found they'd pretty much grown apart from their 'true love' and realised they'd wasted a year that they could have been doing what they wanted.

"Most importantly, I don't think it would be right nor fair to her, to try and manipulate her out of a commitment she made." I think you get the impression that I would say pretty much screw her over. I don't take that stance at all, but I do think you have to be fair to yourself before you do to others. If you're going to maintain yourself in a situation (Relationship or otherwise) and it's not making you happy or fulfilling your needs, no one has the right to tell you to stay there.

Pretty much the biggest reason for men cheating is they're not being fulfilled(Either sexually or otherwise) in a relationship, so with that in mind, any guy not just the OP in a relationship he is unhappy with can either put up with it and be unhappy for no reason, cheat and make a brutal breakup or talk to the girl, don't pressure her into anything and if they're still unhappy, leave. If the girl is unhappy with that after solid reasoning, well she's not worth the time anyway.


Top
Offline  
 Post subject:Re: Girlfriend took a "Second Virginty" chasity vow
PostPosted:Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:32 pm 
Organ Donor
User avatar
 

Joined:Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:47 pm
Posts:529
Location:Jawjuh
I dunno. I could sort of see taking a second virginity after getting out of a relationship and realizing that what you've been doing isn't working out for you etc. etc., but in the middle of a relationship it's just sort of weird. And not really fair to the other person either.
And let me explain what I mean by that. I don't mean that if you're in a relationship you have to have sex with the person, but some people want that to be a part of it. And in the beginning of a relationship you hopefully establish whether you'll be having sex or not and the ground rules are laid (uh...no pun intended).
All of a sudden changing the rules in the middle just isn't that nice. I mean, I guess it is a personal choice, but if I were to do something like that I would definitely understand and be completely OK if the other person didn't like that and wanted to get out. And so I don't really think I would blame Gwanky if that's what he did.
The girl might, but maybe she should have put more thought and discussion into making that vow in the first place. (Did she even discuss it with you at all, Gwanky, or did she just say "Oh by the way I took a second virginity vow today"?)
Quote:
virginity is people's chat full of prejudice and insecure adolescent.
I have no idea what this means but I really like it.

_________________
Creative people must be stopped! (Latest Entry 7/31/11: "Fishsticks (18+))

Pleasantville by Night, a humorous horror web RPG


Top
Offline  
Display posts from previous: Sort by 
Post new topic Reply to topic

All times are UTC-05:00


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 44 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Theme created by Miah with assistance from hyprnova